9.4.11

every day, when you're walking down the street...

Mom: Are you sure you don't want to, um, change? Are you sure it's not a little... too much?
Me: NO MUM GO AWAY LET ME WEAR WHAT I WANT. (bursts into a fit of hysteria) (except not) (but the essence of this conversation did occur)

You really can't go wrong with sequins. Or cheetah. Or balloons. Or colours. Or, yeah, whatever. I'm basically a melting pot of amazingness, pfffftttt. Enjoy, kiddos. (Also, I muse about nostalgia and memories and jazz. So I don't know, if you feel like musing with me, then read my rambles. Else wise, I highly recommend that you don't. I am not liable for your boredom.)

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I've recently been feeling very... nostalgic. I'm sure that this is the nature of graduating (OH HI 10 WEEKS BABY), but it freaks me out. Yesterday, my childhood friend and her family came up to see me (we live five hours apart). Initially, I sided with the perspective of, "Oh well, hello, awkward reunion icky poop," but it was actually really fun and brought back a lot of childhood GTs (translation: good times!).
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It's weird, though. Thinking back on childhood and all that lovely jazz. When I think of it, the MOST RANDOM, INSIGNIFICANT memories come up. Like (warning: boring/insignificant/random childhood memory coming right up), the time when I brought my purple, plastic film camera to school. My friend brought hers as well. We were taking pictures of teachers/peers. I asked my teacher, Ms. Lynn, for a picture. She didn't believe my camera was real. I told her it was. She stuck her tongue for the picture. After she said, "Oh, it is real!!! I saw the flash!!!!" I still have a picture of Ms. Lynn sticking her tongue out. Yeah. The end of the best story you've probably ever heard. I could probably spew some random interpretation for why this came to mind, but I won't. It really is just a random memory.
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I guess that I've just been questioning the nature of memory and, you know, WHAT MOMENTS OF OUR LIFE DO WE REMEMBER? There's so much that happens in a day that it's simply impossible to remember EVERY SINGLE DETAIL - what we said, what we learned, who we conversed with, the order of events, etc. I mean, what made my average joe saturday special? What will I remember from it next week? Probably nothing out of the ordinary. Is this a bad thing? Will Saturday, April 9, 2011 go in my memory book as simply "forgotten"? Yes.
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The amount of time that passes - and the speed of it - sincerely freaks me out. It scares me how all these mundane memories - simply because they are a part of routine - pass over me. Even when I'm experiencing amazingness, it's like BAM!, I still forget so many details and moments and memories. I would NOT be able to tell you thorough details about my trip to Nepal, or the time I spent with my cousins when they visited, or my experiences working with the play and et cetera et cetera. They were special times, times I cherished. Yet, still. SO MUCH FORGOTTEN. I guess I'm realizing just how much of life is a bluuuurrrrrrr. (See what I did there? I made blur actually look like a blur. hah.)
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I don't know. I suppose I'm just intrigued with the idea of memory and what we remember and what we forget. And ARE we supposed to remember our life in its entirety? I've considered writing it all down, but that's a little mundane. I guess, there are all those *special days* that, you know, just stick. But what about the rest? Just forgotten? A blur? Yeah, basically. Maybe life isn't about holding onto these memories, but learning from them. Or maybe it's about finding ways to CREATE these memories that stick.

As I continue to funnel through life (hah, that's sounds so ouber depressing, yowzaaa!), I wonder what memories will percolate to the top. What will I cherish from my good ole' high school days? I'm excited at the prospect of accumulating so many more wondrous memories in my life time - but I'm also scared about all the ones that will inevitably fade. I know it's not something really to fret about. I know it's just life. But... still. I don't know. It's something I've been thinking about as I struggle to pull more memories from when I was a young chum.

Sorry about the "ah, here my life story" nature of this post. I think that this is just one of those whenyoureallythinkaboutit things. And I'm just, yeah, thinkingaboutit...
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(Blazer - Vintage $15, Shirt - Value Village/ Thrifted $3, Skirt - Value Village/ Thrifted $3, Tights - Unknown, Shoes - Vintage $30, Balloon Bib - DIY, Belt - Pacific Mall $10)

^Diva smooches to go with my ridiculous - ahem, AMAZING - sparkle-infested blazaaah. Bitchezzz.

Your thoughts? On the nature of memory? How blurry life is? How we live and we forget?
(Vague questions... er, room for interpretation.)

P.S. A few days ago, I decided to eat my lunch with this boy in grade 9. I wasn't engrossed in the conversation around me. Sooo, I left. He was eating all alone. So, I figured I'd be friendly and pop by and chat. He's a nice kid. I got, like, 14 dirty stares from kids in other grades. I just think it's interesting. High school...

23 comments:

Victoria said...

love this outfit!! and we just learned about memory in my psych class! Anyway i really like your jacket :)

Eli said...

I love that the title of this post if from Arthur! :)

SC said...

Ohhh high school = = When we do something even a little bit out of the ordinary, it's just SOOO BADDDD, isn't it? I wore a fucking crop top to school for the first time last year, and a bunch of girls asked me if it was against school rules or even stupid questions like "aren't you freezing cold?" and "why do you show your belly so much?" AAAND I was wearing jeans and a cardigan over top O_O the next 6 times i wore a crop top, the same girls ask the same questions. None of the teachers ever commented, the principal never said "Hey you can't wear crop top with jeans and a cardi over top". Just those girls.

Anyway.. in grade 12, things like that just go over my head now, I don't even care about them anymore. I'm just gonna hang out with who I want to, talk to who I want to, ignore who I want to, wear whatever I want to.

Your thing is colours. You wear an insane amount of it hahah. I like it.

Thanks for the read :D

And umm.. life is life. Humans forget. Humans remember. Never at the same time tho.

love,
Mimi.

courtzmelv said...

Love this outfit, such a mish mash of colours and patterns, but IT WORKS! xx

Mana said...

I love this post and I love your photos, especially your expression in them! I just feel HAPPY when I see them! *I hope that's what you were trying to convey LOL* I think you're so right about the most mundane thing about our lives becoming embedded in our memory then randomly returning again, it happens to me...all the time, talk about random, I think this really proves that it's the small things that lead up the to big things in life that counts =)

I also think it's because Im older and can understand this appreciation that I can now appreciate the walk to the bus stop from my house, the rain from our Vancouver clouds, the rare sunny days we get etc, and the list never ends and I hope it doesn't! hahaha and btw Im getting my strawberry this week =( LOL <--- super random and tell me if it's TMI!

Hanna said...

Love it! that blazer is pretty amazing!!

SOJOURNED IN STYLE said...

too much! its the right amount, that sequined jacket is my dream. coool mix up! the pink tights are awesome. the passage of time startles me too, I try to look back at a year ago and alot of it is almost a blur, but I too am unwilling to write down every waking moment. for now we can all blog about our fears and maybe remember these moments.

Oh to Be a Muse said...

i went to a thrift store yesterday and found absolutely nothing! you always manage to find some great stuff! wonderful vintage blazer luv.

Style, She Wrote said...

Love the polka dot skirt/sequin combo! xo style, she wrote

Wynne Prasetyo said...

you have so much confidence that this outfit ROCKS! i love your boldness.

Unknown said...

Everyday is an excuse to play dress up! Love it!

Alex said...

honestly, that blazer with the appliqué is amazing... I also adore the subtle mixing of patterns (leopard/checks/polka dots) along with colors. nothing is overwhelming, it is just fabulous and fun. awwwww :) also, high school is so ridiculous. I'm 7 years removed and I am still baffled at the behaviors and mannerisms of kids that age, the judgement and the hypocrisy, but the striking thing is, none of it means shit. you do what you feel is right and what makes you happy, because ten years from now (fuck, the day after you graduate) the disapproving looks won't matter at all. I was weird as fuck in high school and I look back and LOVE it. it made me who I am today :) but I'm definitely preaching to the choir with you!

also, my mom would say things like that about what I would wear, or my hair (I've had three different mohawks in the last 10 years) it's just because they wuuuuuuv you :)

Woods said...

you know what i'm explore your closet because your have the best stuff damn look at that jacket that has to be the most awesomeness jacket or blazer ever! and for some odd reason it look great with your leopard blouse ( only you could pull that off =])

i hate that i want to remember everything but i can't only somethings

Rand T said...

hahah that sounds like my mum!!!but you look beautiful love the jacket xx

meg fee said...

i'd never have the courage to wear it, but that's me. because i think you look brilliant.

time and memory is such a funny thing. time is so elastic and changeable. and memory--well there's a whole chunk of time i can't readily call up but i think that's because my body is protecting me, allowing me to momentarily forget.

ashlee bracken. said...

memory is the hardest. i swear i dont remember much of anything since my love came into my life at 16. childhood? whats that? it truly scares me sometimes thinking about how much i cant remember. its like there are black holes in my memory and time periods where i dont remember anything at all. maybe i dont want to? but i do know that perhaps a real life journal is in need. blog helps too.

monster cakes said...

I did that same exact thing in high school, and it got the same results, so I stayed at the strange quiet boys table for the rest of the year just to piss everyone off. No joke. SO this basically makes us kindred spirits. Anyhoo, thanks for your compliment about my photos! I am no photographer, so it made my day. And I use picnik.com for easy editing (i can't do photoshop--I'm tech-stupid). I upgraded for $25 a year and it basically does all that photoshop does in a user-friendly way! Awesome spice. Try it out.

Chloe said...

I'm in love with that jacket and want to steal it!
Ah, memory. My biggest fear is losing my memory. I've even started a 'memory book' which is just pages of words, cinema tickets, photos, to spur memories that may not cross my mind as frequently as they used to.
http://theappledrug.blogspot.com/

Dear Girl Wallflower said...

your sequined top is adorable, oh gosh!!! I could wear it and keep in my closet! You had such an awesome talent in looking hilarious...=)and the dialogue with your mom is one funny thing too!!

Audrey Allure said...

Aw, that's so sweet of you to go & sit with him; I met one of my good friends like that - she was too shy to approach anyone first.

Anyway, you look absolutely fabulous! That blazer is too cute :)

LyddieGal said...

I think you are right, you can never go wrong with sequins and cheetah! That jacket looks like something out of alice in wonderland, and is therefore, amazing.

Chic on the Cheap

FashionJazz said...

That was so sweet of u hun, u have a good heart : ) loving the mix of sequins! Mwah x

Hello Naka said...

it was sweetof u to sit with the boy :3 and i need to sequin myself up! also my parents just look and say hmm so ur meeting up with ur friends? when im dressed in lolita XD