insert title here

ZOMGZZZZZ HIII LONG LOST FRIENDZZZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!! ZOOOOOOO0000mMMMGGggzzzZ!

Ahem. Deep breaths, Lexy. Channel your inner-civilized citizen. Please. PLEASE.

Ahem. So.

I've got a SURPRISE FOR YOU! How exciting! I wanted it to be a surprise, but I'm afraid I've potentially already given it away. "Why?" you ask, "What could you have possibly given away?"

Well, long lost friends, I'll give you a second to think about that. Dig into your inner Nancy Drew-abilities.  Dig deep.

Ho. Hum. Tick. Tock.

Hum. Ho. Tock. Tick.

Tick. Tock. Ho Hum.

BAM!

You got it! (Maybe.) My surprise is, "I AM BACK!" (This is the awkward moment when nobody even reads this post and I'm talking to long, lost, imaginary friends, and I'll end up just wallowing in the sadness of my interwebz lonerdome and eating copious amounts of cheetos and chocolate chips to compensate for my lack of real or virtual friendzzz. Or something. If you're reading this, please! Do show your existence so I can prevent obesity and heart attacks and stuff.)  (Pff, who am I kidding? I'm still going to eat copious amounts of cheetos and chocolate chips and become obese and have a heart attack. #goyoungandhavinggoodmetabilismfornowdundundun)

But yes. It is true. I am home. After five and a half months. I am home. And it feels good. Real good. But also weird. Real, real weird.

In fact, I foresaw this post being miles and miles long because, hey! I've been gone for over five months! Seeing the world! I should be glabbering and jabbering and chitting and chatting! But, the thing is, it's all very weird. How do you summarize five months of adventures? Of experiences? Where do you even start?

I guess I'll try.

Over the past five and a half months, I've been taking major advantage my hard-earned minimum wage money (holllaaaa, forever 21!!!) and wandering the earth. The original plan was to be away for four months. But I just loved the world so much, I stayed an extra month and a half. (I'm really into the "going with my heart" thing.) I spent four months in the glorious country of Morocco - I spent three months volunteering with disabled kids and another month living in a village. Met amazing people and traveled around the beautiful country a lot (in fact, I experienced 17 out of 18 of Lonely Planet's (note: the best guidebook EVER) "Top 18 Experiences." Bam! I rock!) I spent another 6 weeks in Europe (Spain, France, Scotland, England, Ireland), via this amazing thing called couchsurfing (despite my love for fashion blogs, I must say that this site triumphs in awesomeness and earns the title of "the coolest thing about the internet, EVER." If you're into culture and the beauty of humans and life and things, check it out.)

I've basically been seeing beautiful sites. Meeting amazing people. Living incredible experiences. I've watched the sunset over a forest of palm trees on the border of Algeria and Morocco. I've met a 72 year old man who, in his youth, hitch hiked from Egypt to South Africa. I've slept under a party of falling stars amongst an endless sea of 300 meter sand dunes. And so much more. It's amazing. I've been so lucky. So, so lucky.

As I come home, it's time for me to reflect - to let the blur of the past 5 months sink in and maybe translate into something meaningful, something I can carry with me in the pockets of my heart strings. What have I experienced? What have I learned? How have I grown? What life lessons can I pass on to my hypothetical grandchildren?

Prior to leaving, I had no idea what to expect. None. In fact, I was even quite doubtful. In my first few days in Morocco - wandering on the streets in a country totally foreign to my own, hearing voices I couldn't even begin to comprehend, just being totally by myself in a foreign country - I thought to myself, "Why did you come here, Lexy?! Why didn't you just stay in Canada? With your families, your friends, your lovely job? WHY?" But then... that is the beauty. The amazing thing about traveling is the doubt, the unknown. You never know what is to come! Who you might meet! What beautiful things you might stumble upon! It's frightening, but amazing!

I had no idea of what I might encounter, experience. How I might change. I actually had this vision of me stumbling home with dreads and nose piercings and preachings about the world and epiphanies and life direction changes and "THIS is what we need to do, PEOPLE" speeches. And all that jazz. But no. No major epiphanies, no changes in my grand life scheme (whatever that is). Sorry, y'allz!

Rather, I'm coming home with a new collection of stories and memories and little lessons. I'm trying to find ways to articulate them, to translate them into my daily life. Lessons from the importance of saying 'yes,' to the fleeting nature of human connections and the need to cherish them, to the utter deliciousness of tea (who knew?). But I guess the main one is this: LIVE YOUR LIFE. If I'm going to be a person that walks around with dreads and nose piercings and preaching life philosophies (maybe next time!), this would be my mantra. Just live. Yo.

I think the most valuable thing I've gained from the past five months is perspective. Seeing the world is so important because you become exposed to such a diversity of things - so many different people and cultures and experiences and sites... and then you realize that BAM! This - all this diversity - is just a SMIDGEN of the world. Just a wee lil' dot in the ginormous of the world. THERE IS SO MUCH OUT THERE. So much. And we are so LITTLE. So little. And when you equate that - the bigness of the world and the smallness of us - the conclusion is just like, "Well, gee. We're nothings."

It's a crazy thought. But rather than finding it scary, I find it very empowering. Seeing the world - all the different people, as well as just the HUGENESS of it all - makes me realize that I am really nothing and OF COURSE I just have to LIVE MY LIFE. We all do. We have to find the things that we love, the things that makes us illuminated, and do as much as we can to do it as much as we can! We have to try to connect with as many people as possible because life is about sharing and connecting and loving and inspiring! We have to live our lives because life is too damn short and we are just so damn small!

so... LIVE. Go with your gut, your heart. Become illuminated and spread that light, that passion, that joy. See and experience and absorb as much as you can. Open your eyes, your mind, your heart. Do it.

Anyways. I didn't mean to go all Oprah on you guys, but hey! There it is. A mini-essay on the past five and a half months of my life (or something). If you read all that... holla atchyaaaa boiiii! (I don't know what that means, but let's pretend it's a really cool reward and you rock.)

I didn't think I'd come back to this blog, to be honest, but... apparently I really do like you guys? Who knew? Hehe. Plus, now that I'm back in Canada, I've written a bunch of creative endeavors that I plan on endeavoring this summer to prevent boredom from lack-of-traveling/ the-only-thing-I-had-planned-at-home-was-to-get-my-license-and-find-a-job (argh!), and since I have no friends back here (kidding! kind of), I thought I might as well share my summer projects with creatures other than my mom and dog. So yeah! Stay tuned.

Live your life.

AND ENOUGH ABOUT ME. How have YOU been? What is the 411? What has everybody been up to? What is the hot gossip? Tell me everything! What are you guys listening to? What's the cool jams? (Mean Girls reference, wee.) But really. I'm mighty curious to know how all you beautiful people have been up to in 2012 thus far! I love hearing stories! :) What's new in 2012? What has been the most exciting thing? The most unexpected?  The lesson learned?

I really hope that you're all doing brilliantly. I really do! I hope you have a wonderful day! And, yay! I'll see you all soon!

Weee!

Lexy :)

P.S. I know I talked a lot. In case you forgot, or maybe you're just a curious george, this what I look like... 

You know, just casually frolicking amongst the sand dunes in the Sahara... as you do... Side note: I'll potentially post more pictures from this voyage. I'm just currently in the process of sifting through, ahem, 17 000+ photos and dwindling them down into Facebook albums is proving to be challenging enough. But, I'll get them on the blog eventually because, you know, the more of me on the internet, the better? um...

excuse the selfies... i am just 2KEWL4U!!!!

Insert generic message ringing in the new year.

Yeah, sorry it's a tad late. You know me, I've been partying and partying and partying and then puking and then partying and then puking and then partying and then passing out and then being hungover... TYPICAL.



Except for, you know... not. I had a handful of high school friends over for New Years and our night essentially consisted of wearing pjs, making pizzas, playing Apples to Apples, making party hats, watching Strange Sex, and general catch-ups. Considering the fact that I haven't seen most of these human beings since October or even June, it was nice to "reacquainted" and jazz. We are all dorks, so a dorky NYE was fitting. Don't judge! It was nice, brahhhh! YOU JEALZZ!!! A lot of the night, however, consisted of exchanges of university stories - both funny and are we seeeriously talking about meal plans or email set-ups or student cards for three hours?! - where I sat in silence due to my decision to take the year off and my consequent inability to contribute. It was then that it all kind of just sunk in - realizing how we are all on different paths - only a few months after graduation - and how we really do carry on in our different ways with different experiences and dreams and... yeah. Life goes on. It was just realizing... that.



I think 2011 will be my year of "goodbyes." I haven't had many experiences in the "goodbye" department, so the whole graduating thing and then just quitting my job thing has really made me think about "goodbyes" and relationships and the nature of moving on. I know that this is just the first of many, but I guess 2011 will be the year of "my first of goodbyes." Or something. That being said, 2011 has been a spectacular year and I feel like I've experienced immense amounts of fear and joy and excitement over the past year. 2011 was filled with experiences and emotions I didn't foresee happening. Amazing.



And now it's all, BAM! 2012! Say what! I have a good feeling about 2012. This year, for the first time in my entire existence, is filled with complete uncertainty. I have a general outline for the year - but the details are completely unknown. Completely. I don't know what kind of experiences I'll have, what kind of people I'll meet, what kind of challenges I'll have to overcome, what kind of person I'll be. It's completely, totally and utterly frightening... and exciting. I have a feeling that I'll look back on 2012 and think, "Wow, that was one hell of a year." Or, at least, I hope so. Mark my words: to a crazy year to come!



I don't usually reflect that heavily on New Years. Often times, it is just, you know, ANOTHER FREAKING DAY AND TAKE A CHILL PILL, WORLD. But given the nature of my future, reflecting is just in my bones. (Oooh! Spooky! Mysterious! Oh my!) I'm not setting any concrete goals for the year. Instead I'll be ~realistic~ and ~grown-up~ and ~abstract~ and say that I hope to spend 2012 learning. Learning to take-risks, learning to love and love and love, and learning about myself. Life is a ginormous evolution and I feel like 2012 will be filled with growth. Oh, the joys of becoming a young adult...!

Happy 2012, kiddoz! I hope you have a fantastic year with much adventure and love and growth and peace! Kisses!

How was your 2011? How was your new years? What are your 2012 hopes and dreams? INFORM ME!

to spontaneous four hour skype sessions!

They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder. Consequently, Y'ALLZ SHOULD LOVE ME. As I've been absent. For a sufficiently long time. And now? You appreciate me. Yeah. You're welcome. This wide gap of posting was not, ahem - NOT, a result of sheer laziness or procrastination. Psh, no. This was a well-thought out, political blogging move. You know. I'm brilliant...

I hope that you all have had a wonderful holiday season. I, myself, have. I'm a complete, total and utter holiday dork. I pass by window displays and clap like an idiot. I literally skipped home the other day when I saw about 2mm of snow on the ground! Heck, I even listen to Christmas carols at home. (AND I WORK IN RETAIL. They play that crap for all 8 hours of my shift.) So MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU ALL! (That would be in red and green to emphasize my love for the holidays. But let's face it, I'm a lazy blogger.)

I've recently been waking up and just thinking to myself, "Wow. It's just amazing to exist." I've been feeling fairly nostalgic these days. It's something about Christmastime that makes you do that. It's like a tradition. I'm completely enthralled and scared by the speed in which life is whizzing by. My past four months in Toronto have been amazing - and ridiculously speedy. My eyeballs have seen much and I'm feeling very lucky to just BE ALIVE. Maybe it's naivety speaking to me?

I have a lot on my mind. But it's all winking dreams and excitement and adventure. I want to wish on every star in the sky and send you all peace and love and harmony. I don't know what 2012 will be bringing, but I know that it is very exciting.

I wish I could say that I'll be back to regular blogging, but I've been a busy bee. I have been spending lots of times with family and loved ones, and that's all I could ask for. I'm trying to learn how to exist with gratitude and energy and love because life is too short for anything but.

I know this post is a little jumpy-pumpy, but I guess I just want to say this: I truly hope you are all have a beautiful holiday. I hope you are spending it with friends and family and yourself and taking the time to live and love. I hope you are happy to exist. We are very lucky creatures. The world is a beautiful place. Happy Holidays!

P.S. Aside from, ahem, the strategic politics of my lack of posting (er?), another reason for the posting delay (you know, a subtle one) would be a result of CHRISTMAS GOODIES. I love anything crafty and figured my time off school would be a perfect time to indulge in some snipping and clipping and sending out itsy treasures to beautiful people I've gotten to know during my high school experience (ah, my youth...). Enjoy! I would send one to each and every one of you, if I could. There's something about handmade cards and carefully written letters and mailing that I wish existed more. So I was all, IMMA BRING 'ER BACK. What a leader!

Happy Holidays, beautiful creatures!

nibs are yummy

Dearest friends of the world wide web,

In conclusion, I suck. Now that we've moved passed that awkward confrontation of holy-moly-its-the-freaking-last-day-of-the-month-and-i-haven't-posted-in-weeks, we can move on to more productive things. Like clothing attire. OMG EXCITEMENT ENSUES AS IT'S LIKE NOTHING'S EVER CHANGED YEEEHAWWWW GOODTIMEZ.

Evidently, these photos were taken awhile back, as made clear by things like LEAVES. I actually had a mini-heart-attack this morning when I realized it was the end of the month ALREADY. Time is a flyin', we are a livin', things are a happenin', what am i a sayin'?! And speaking of the end of the month and general redundancy, aw shucks, I have to drop another $99 on a December Metropass. (Fun fact: I make my Grandma buy my Metropass because she has a handy advantage called "senior discount." There is a student discount, but I'm not in school/ a student right now. Consequently, I'm BRINGIN' OUT THE GRANDMA. Using a senior discount when I'm not a senior? Going against the system? YOU KNOW IT BRAH. Because I live on the EDGE like that. Because I'm a REBEL like that. Because YOU BETTER WATCH OUT. (You better not cry! You better not pout, I'm telling you why! Lalal. I don't care what people say, I freaking LOVE Christmas music.))



As I posted this, I remembered that a lovely woman photographed me in this outfit and BAM! I came across it. I don't know how I just remembered that I was photographed, because I'm fairly certain that it blasted my smile and my ego about 718 degrees higher that day. But then again, you know, I'm used to it. I'm like a celebrity. BOW TO ME BITCHEZ. (I kid you, I kid you! I will use my celebrity powers (i.e. being on, like, three blogs and a twitter) to merely date Joseph Gordon Levitt and adopt babies with trendy names.)

(Jumpsuit - Vintage $5, Blazer - Value Village $4, Denim Shirt - Mum's from the 90s, Bracelets - H&M, Shoes - Vintage $34, Headband - Value Village $3)

On a completely different note, I've recently been having a bit of money struggles. Not in the sense of lack of money - but in the contrary. I know it's ~tacky~ to talk about money, but I'm a ~tacky~ one, so I'm just going with what I got! Frankly, I'm a lucky girl. It's not like my family is farting dollar bills or throwing change in garbage cans (Daniel Meade, that means you! Ugly Betty reference that no one will get because that show ended, like, 6 years ago. Yup, I'm still obsessed). But, yes, I have been incredibly lucky growing up. My family isn't, like, ~loaded~, but I have been really fortunate to have really incredible opportunities - such as an amazing education and travel experience - that I know a lot of people don't have. And sometimes I feel guilty.

I'm working with people that are paying for their own rent, their own university tuition. While I'm obviously not going to be financially dependent on my parents for my entire existence, I know that they would be willing to help me out to ensure that I get the education or the opportunities I need for personal growth. And sometimes I feel guilty. My parents work hard. They both came from low class families and worked hard and continue to work hard to provide for me and my sister. But it's like, What did we do to deserve this? Why are people my age fighting for things like education or a home? Things that I've generally taken for granted? Why do I get this lifestyle? And sometimes I feel guilty.

I find myself trying to compensate for my fortunate upbringing by trying to help others. I try to volunteer or feed the homeless or do anything that I can do because I can do it. I can definitely attest to my parents for ingraining the value of money and the importance of helping others in my mind. But still. I work hard, and I will always work hard, but I also know that my parents are able to support my dreams - education, traveling - financially, which is a definite luxury and I feel incredibly lucky but also incredibly torn. Because WHY? Why do I deserve this?! Why do I get this luxury? And I know that I'm a good person and I'm not a spoiled brat and I don't take my things for granted, but I also know that I have and I've had a lot of things and opportunities and experiences that people my age simply don't have because $dollaz$ don't grow on trees.

I've always been aware of the discrepancy between our Western lifestyle and one in a developing country, but I'm also becoming more aware of the discrepancy between my own upbringing and that of many other youth. It's just this bizarre battle between gratitude and guilt, intertwined with questions of why?

That's all.

PHEW. This actually took a lot of time to write because my mind has been rumbling and mumbling and broiling and battling and I know that it's an uncomfortable or sensitive or controversial topic. I didn't know whether to post this. But guess what I did? Yeah, I posted it. Obviously. You are reading this. Duh!

THOUGHTS? What kind of financial upbringing did you have? How has it affected you?

Ahem, so until next time! (Let's be frank, WHO KNOWS WHEN THAT WILL BE?!) I hope you all have a really splendid day/ week/ life in the meantime! Hugs and kisses!

if you are looking for a sign to clean your room then THIS IS IT

I've just completed cleaning my room and my satisfactory level has increased EXPONENTIALLY. Looking around at my CLEAN vacuumed floor and CLEAN neat shelves and CLEAN straight closet simply makes me feel GLORIOUS. Like I'm, you know, THE QUEEN OF THE WORLD. NO BIG FREAKING DEAL. Oh, and, just by the way, can you tell that I have no life? Whatsoever? Whatever. You make fun of me. I'm just basking in the cleanliness of my clean room SHBAM. Hear that? It's the sound of ENVY. Your envy.

And no, I'm not posting pictures of my room or anything. That snidbit was way irrelevant. I'm just bragging so you guys remember just how ~awesome~ and ~beyondcool~ I am. Obviously. What I am posting (smooth transition, you dig?!) are outfit shots! HOORAY! I wore this outfit awhile back, but posting is occurring now. I'm prompt like that. (Sorry!!!)

There's something about this obnoxious combination of patterns that reminds me of kaleidoscopes. (Can we please just take a second to praise the KALEIDOSOCOPES?! They're freaking genius. A simple idea, yet HOURS of joy. Nope, just me?) I guess you could say that I'm satisfied with this connection.


I'm obsessed with rainbow nails. THEY COMPLIMENT MY OUTFITS SO WELL HOLY MOLY I FREAK OUT EVERY TIME. I'm such a five year old at heart, it's borderline a problem. Borderline. Give it a five years when I'm beginning a "real" career and becoming a "real" adult and my finger nails are still every freaking colour of the rainbow. I'm so going to be one of "those" grown-ups. (You know, like Ms. Frizzle. I loved her.)


Today was a good day. I was sitting on the subway, smiling to myself. I have the tendency to do that. Just smile at myself. Like I'm a pedophile. Smiling at children. Small children. BUT I'M NOT!!!! PINKY PROMISE!!! Ahem. So now that we've determined that I was smiling to myself, yet I am not a pedophile, I will continue with my (not so) remarkable story. I was smiling at myself because today was a good day. Why? I'm not entirely sure. In theory, it really shouldn't have been: it consisted of waking up early after little sleep (the whole closing-shift-and-opening-shift-the-next-day-and-one-hour-commute is not an appealing combination, TRUST ME) to a seven hour shift and no evening plans. And that's essentially all that happened. (Of course, we later found out that cleaning my room was on the agenda, which simply elevated the whole "good day" thing.) (We get it; I HAVE NO LIFE.) It was a friendly day, chatting to costumers, and running around, and it was fun. I've really realized how much happiness is in our control. I woke up thinking, "You know what? I'm going to have a good day" AND I DID. Magic! It could have been grumpy and grouchy and long, but I decided to turn into a cheery little muffin top and the day passed by! WOOHOO!

As I was basking in the goodness of the day, I thought to myself, "You know, it's the outlook that determines the outcome." I really thought I was getting at something. Heck, the words "future" and "Oprah" came to mind! THE OUTLOOK DETERMINES THE OUTCOME. Lexy, you're brilliant! I was going to preach my genius new proverb on the blog when I thought, "Ho hum, perhaps I should Google it in case of some-other-genius-already-said-this-profound-saying-before-me." Turns out, someone did. I guess my brilliance just transcends through the ages. WHATS UP WITH DAT?! Nonetheless, I completely believe that an obnoxiously positive and optimistic attitude is - perhaps naive - but totally the way to go! Negative thoughts do no good. The other day, a woman was bitching about the lateness of the bus and I just thought to myself, "Well, golly, woman. Your bitching ain't going to make the bus come any faster!"

In conclusion, be obnoxiously chipper. It's fun. Life is too short to dwell on things beyond your control and to be a grumpy grey cloud. xoxoxo TILL NEXT TIME.

What are your happiness philosophies? Would you say that you are a "happy" person?


(Blazer - Value Village $3.50, Shirt - Value Village $3.50, Skirt - Value Village $5, Shoes - Vintage $15, Broaches - Nepal, Hair bow - Vintage $3, Rainbow nails - Visit to Shoppers Drugmart and pretending to test out their different colours $free)

of course i wish on 11:11

It's been over a week. I get it, okay? I suck and let's move on. Oh, but before I move on, I may as well sputter my excuse. Trust me, it's a good one: ahem, I've been wayyy too busy attending multiple high class fashion parties filled with sparkling champagne and hobnobbing with exquisite guests. Yeah. I'm a fancy girl. NO BIG D. Oh, and, um, just as a side note, by "multiple" I mean "one." And by "fashion parties" I mean "high school reunion." And by "sparkling champagne" I mean "water." And by "hobnobbing" I mean "catching up." And by "exquisite guests" I mean "ex-classmates and teachers." But you know. Surely, the principle is still there? Glamorous parties and high school reunions? Pfft, practically synonymous if you ask me. Go ahead. Thesaurus it. I DARE YOU. (No, really. Please don't.)

That's my really long-winded way of saying I went to my high school reunion yesterday. It's rather hilarious since we've only been apart for, like, a week. (And by "a week" I mean "four months.") (Are you getting sick of my inability to just get to the freaking point already yet?!) Okay, I'll just get to the freaking point already... This is what I wore.

I was actually really excited about the whole "semi-formal attire" thing that was required. Because contrary to what my awesomeness may lead you to believe, I do not, in fact, get invited to many swanky parties and glamorous events. I KNOW. CALM YOURSELF. Is that a heart-attack I see coming your way? COMMENCE YOUR HEAVY BREATHING EXERCISES NOW. It's a SHOCK for all of us! It's okay. I've discovered that human beings are simply jealous of my awesomeness and are intimidated. I'm powerful like that. I'm still as cool and swanky and fancy as you all think I am. (Woah! Dream big! Go fly a kite!) (That was a Juno reference. Neat-o.)



This dress is way awesome. Do you know how awesome it is? Once upon a time, I stumbled across it. I thought, "this dress is awesome." However, the price tag read $50 and sadness ensued. BUT, OH, THERE IS A SILVER LINING. For two months passed and BAM! The awesome dress was marked down to $16. In conclusion, I'm psychic and channeled my inner "patience is a virtue." Evidently, my wisdom transcends way beyond my years of existence. Some say I'm the next Oprah. Oh, and another irrelevant/ boring thing to note about this dress is that it used to be about one foot longer. I kid you not. I looked like Belle in it. As in that Disney princess with the ridiculous dress. I thought it was fun. Unfortunately, the 1800s is, you know, not existing today so, at last, some snipping and stitching ensued and bam! here we are today! And now you know a lot about this dress and it's possibly getting awkward in a "should I unfollow this chick?" kind of way. Um. Basically, thank you high school reunion for giving me the opportunity to get fancy and wear this dress. (That is, until, those swanky invites come my way. One day.)

Seeing high school people was weird. I mean, I know it's only been four months, so before you get all, "it's only been for months," my golly I KNOW IT'S ONLY BEEN FOUR MONTHS. But still. Given that I've been with many of these people for at least four years, four months of separation is weird. And coming back together is also weird. I guess graduation day never really felt completely, totally the end since I always knew that I'd be seeing a lot of these faces again at this reunion. But now? Now it's the end. Screw swanky fashion parties, I never even went to high school parties!!! Consequently, I wonder how many of these people I'll actually keep in touch with? See again? It's a hard concept to grasp and I'm very aware that we're all moving forward and high school is a blip of the past. It's weird. I guess I'm realizing that my school environment has defined me for essentially all my life; I mean, I spent more than forty hours a week in that thing! I guess now I'm in the process of figuring out who I am outside of the school community? I honestly thought that I'd be sputtering out rainbows of joy upon reaching the end of high school. But I guess I'm realizing just how much it has defined my life so far. And how much it really has given me. (Again, I think I'm only remembering the good bits. My sister was doing functions homework this weekend. MATH NEVER AGAIN PUHLEASE.) Right now, it's about moving forward and growing from the past. It's scary, but exciting. I think being in high school made me a dreamer; it ignited the "there's gotta be more than this" in me. Yesterday made me remember that. I'm ready to dream away again!

On a side note, I don't know how many of my readers are in high school, but if you are, here it goes: take a deep breath and CHILL OUT. It's high school. It will be over before you know it. But I don't think it's something that you just want to "get over" - it's something that you should enjoy, or try to enjoy. The people you meet are going to disappear from your daily life before you know it. So don't give a fuck what they think. Find something you love that's removed from social drama and social circles and go do it. Do the things you love and don't do the things you don't feel comfortable with. You don't know who "you" are yet and it's tough. So just go with your heart. Do what feels right. Not what the media or your peers says is "right." Your heart. And, really, this is the biggest one: talk to people. High school is filled with cliques and generalizations and stereotypes and I won't lie, I was a victim of that. Generalizing people, giving people labels. Don't do that. The most valuable thing I've taken from high school is we're all just human beings. Finally, in senior year, I tried to talk to a lot of people individually - find out what they're about, what makes them tick - and I'm really glad it did. I found that when people were removed from their friends/ social pressures, they were actually all just... humans. Everybody is going through the same shit you are and everybody is struggling and everybody is just trying to have a good time or fit in or move forward. Please. Get to know people before you judge. They will be gone before you know it. Everybody is human. High school is a weird, toxic environment and know that there is life beyond it. Chin up. Make the best of it; it says a lot about your spirit.

Phew. I feel like I'm the Breakfast Club or something. Hooray! If you read all that, we should totally form a clique of simply AWESOMENESS. Yeah. THE END.

What did you take away from high school? How has life changed post high school? If you're still in high school - HAH! SUCKER! (kidding), How are you liking it? How do you picture life post high school?

(Jacket - Value Village $3.50, Dress - Vintage $16, Tights - F21 $10, Shoes - Thrifted $1 (!!!!), Bow - Value Village $3, Jewelry - Assorted)

Have a great week, darlings! I have a lot of outfit posts lined up. But I think we've both determined that I suck, so *fingers crossed* for prompt posting. Till next time... YOU'RE ALL BEAUTIFUL CREATURES.

pop tarts are delicious

HOWDY PARTNERS! Ahem. Howdy? Partners? Seriously, Lexy? SERIOUSLY? Whatever, western is very 'in' and things and I JUST WANT TO BE A COW BOY GOSH DARNIT.

Ahem. Again. Well, this is sufficiently awkward as you now question whether my disappearance was due to being a bad blogger or, seemingly more likely, being placed in a scientific experiment that makes human beings stare at microwaves too long and, consequently, become insane (according to my mom. she's anal like that). Or something. Ahem. Again, again. Can we just *smooth transition* it over to the pictures? You all cheer an hallelujah and a hip hip hooray and we transition and SUCH A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT! We all share a collective sigh of relief, kind of like that moment when you're squatting over the toilet after copious amounts of pee-dancing and uncomfortable wiggling and seriously WHY AM I STILL TALKING?!

My family is a giant dork. I don't know if that sentence makes grammatical sense, but that is the best word to describe us: dorks. A euphemism might be "cute," but that's in the "aw, you guys are so dorky, but I want to be a kind soul, so I'll just say cute" sense. This theory could be proven with various events, such as family game nights and Thanksgiving hikes. I wouldn't have it any other way! DORKZ 4 LYF, BRAH.




Here is the sibling and I. The sibling looks like Where is Waldo. HAH! She always comes up with strange analogies for my outfits (namely, just raised eyebrows that say OH SO MUCH), so now I'm being the witty one here. Please laugh. Or nod. Or something.



And I know it's tradition to start off a post with apologies and excuses but HEY NOW! I'm a non-conformist! I go against the grain! Therefore, I will end my post with apologies and excuses and stuff because I turn things on their head LIKE THAT. HEAR ME ROARRRR. Bitchez.

Ahem. Yeah, so, I've been non-existent due to things such as 1) laziness and 2) being artsy and going to poetry slams. THAT'S RIGHT. This week is kind of a big deal over here so I've been committed to the ART. Aka I'm the biggest stalker/ groupie zomg it's scary. You know how there were always the cool kids in school and you wanted to be friends with them, but the closest you could ever get was being graced in their presence? (Hypothetically, of course. Because we're hipsters and non-conformists and things and this never occurred.) This is totally like that. You know what they say: If you can't join 'em... follow 'em (?). Sure.

I think the greatest things about poetry slams is the vibe. Everyone there is so freaking passionate and genuine and someone described the experience as "like watching a sportsgame" and it really is like that and zomg it's amazing. And the poetry is amazing, too, of course, because it's all "DANG, that's so what I was thinking, but wtf you say it so beautifully"-ish. I have this irrational fear of going up to poets and complimenting them due to the collision of contradictions being 1) my awkwardness and 2) the fact that they are extremely, extremely eloquent. So I will just watch from afar and hope one of them comes up to me in a "nice skirt/ thanks, it was my mom's in the 80s/ vintage, cute!" way. (Mean Girls reference, ANYONE?) It feels like all the poets there have found their niche and I'm all like THAT'S SO BEAUTIFUL AND WHERE IS MINE.


What is your "niche"? Super duper curious - DO LET ME IN ON IT! (lexy's definition of "niche": place/ time/ scenario where you feel most happy/ most like yourself/ most alive)

Have a splendid day!

is it bad that i hate showering? (ahem, don't worry, i shower. i just, you know, hate it.))

Hello bluebirds and sunshine teapots! Oh, look at me! I'm being so jolly and dandy! And oh! I wonder why this is! Am I in looooove? NO. Am I prancing outdoors? NO. Gosh, I guess it's merely because it's a BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY. Yippee! The weather has been utterly glorious and I feeling like being in love and prancing outdoors and calling human beings "bluebirds" and "sunshine teapots" but, you know, I am doing none of that. Instead, I get the fantastical privileged of being indoors, all day, getting my werrrk' on. In the mall. All day. Hooray? Whatever, the weather is pretty and I'll just act all cheery and obnoxious and yeahhh because nobody likes a gloomy cloud to pounce on their sunny parade.

In other news, adventuring and exploring Toronto is working out nicely. I have discovered that my fan-base lie in are-they-homeless-esque-old-bearded-men. Seriously. In the past month, I have had half-a-dozen conversations with this demographic. It's okay. Despite the initial doubt and subtle inching away, they turn out to be interesting and harmless creatures. (You know, until the end, when they give me their number with the prospect of showing me the "good bars around town" or kiss my hand when I am saying goodbye but, you know, pffft.)


I've also attended my first POETRY SLAM because I am so ~poetic~ and ~artsy~ and yeah, just wanted to check it out. It ended up being lots of fun; the atmosphere and vibe is very honest and passionate and beautiful and connected and all that good stuff. Therefore, I'm totally sold. While I wish I could become all ~wow, I am a poet and I didn't even know it~, the reality is, you know, ~I'm not a poet and I did even know it~. I really admire all the poets out there. SLAM. (See what I did there? That added ambiance is a play on SLAM Poetry? Damn, maybe I do have a talented way with words! Check itttt!) I've also made this, ahem ~profound~ connection that some people use poetry and words to express themselves while I use clothing to express myself. Look at us! We're all just human beings trying to find ways to be honest and expressive and connected and things.


Oh, by the way, we interrupt this program briefly to introduce you to the BEST SHOES EVER. They make my feet happy. I've taken to wearing them to all the grand events I'm so often invited to (read: dance parties... with myself... alone... in front of my... mirror. JEALOUS?!).




In other not-as-grand news, lately, I've been feeling a little uncomfortable and guilty for loving fashion. Sometimes, it feels as though I am living in a perpetual paradox where loving fashion and aspiring to be part of the industry and dreaming fashion dreams converge with hating fashion and recognizing its frivolity and insignificance and questioning how involved I should really be with it. It's hard to articulate because, obviously, I love it. I have aspired to be apart of the creative/ fashion industry since I was a wee little one. It makes me cry, it makes my heart pound, it makes me dream. On the other hand, it makes me want to hurt things. We attach words like "art" to it and strive to search for meaning in it and put it on a high pedestal but... is it really all that?

I guess I find myself very uncomfortable when people ask me what I want to do. I feel like I'm searching for justification for my passion. I feel like there are other things I could lend my heart and time and talent to. Who knows what the future holds? I guess I just want to die knowing I made the world a better place than it was before I left it. I know that creating things makes the world lighter and more beautiful and full of dreams... but I can't help thinking about the kids around the world that would give anything for a basic education and basic health and the basic needs we fucking take for granted. Maybe I should lend my heart and time to that instead. Until they have the opportunity to dream and create and enjoy the lighter side of life to. My heart seems to stretch out a lot... #confusedteenager

Do you ever feel guilty for loving fashion? How do you deal with those feelings? (I know it's not good to assume but, yeah, I am totally assuming you kids are all fashion lovahhhz az diz is a fashion blawggg, ya dig?)

(Shirt - Value Village $3, Shorts - Vintage/ Iceland, Socks - H&M $2, Shoes - Consignment Shop $12, Lipstick - Revlon 038)

xoxoox, have a beautiful week, darlings.