growing up is not so tough, except when i've had enough! i'm calliou...

You've all probably realized that there are topics that seem to thread through all my posts, such as narcissism, the weather, and being a high school senior.

Well, things are not going to change. Insert evil chuckle here.

Being a high school senior, or a high school student in general, is bizarre. On one hand, everything that I do seems "so important," as if every step I take, every interaction I have, every move I make will determine my entire future. There's a lot of stress in this little bubble we're in. And, in this bubble, there's a lot of bullshit.

Sometimes I have moments where people are talking about parties or boys or something. And I feel outcast-ish because I don't care. At all. And sometimes I wish that I did care because I could join in their peels of laughter and conversations.

Don't get me wrong, I do love the people and the experiences I have and I'm thankful for all my friendships and moments of extreme laughter, but now that I'm reaching my final year, everything seems so mundane and insignificant and I just keep on feeling like there is so much more out there. And I can't wait. It's probably the scariest and most surreal feeling: knowing that, in a year or two, I will be alone, by myself, away (or so I hope. Unless I flunk out of high school, which would be fairly unfortunate and result in a rapid change of plans involving fast food chains). I want to cry tears of joy and fear and happiness while frolicking on a cloud of marshmallows and picking berries somewhere over the rainbow. With unicorns and dolphins.

Anyways, it's most important to keep perspective. The world is fucking beautiful. Sometimes I just need a reminder...





What's the last thing that made you smile?!
I'm turning into a life coach, but I'll just blame it on nostalgia and excitement. Hopefully the beauty of the videos will serve as a nice contrast to the posts that are to sandwich it (i.e. Halloween post up next, yo!)