growing up is not so tough, except when i've had enough! i'm calliou...

You've all probably realized that there are topics that seem to thread through all my posts, such as narcissism, the weather, and being a high school senior.

Well, things are not going to change. Insert evil chuckle here.

Being a high school senior, or a high school student in general, is bizarre. On one hand, everything that I do seems "so important," as if every step I take, every interaction I have, every move I make will determine my entire future. There's a lot of stress in this little bubble we're in. And, in this bubble, there's a lot of bullshit.

Sometimes I have moments where people are talking about parties or boys or something. And I feel outcast-ish because I don't care. At all. And sometimes I wish that I did care because I could join in their peels of laughter and conversations.

Don't get me wrong, I do love the people and the experiences I have and I'm thankful for all my friendships and moments of extreme laughter, but now that I'm reaching my final year, everything seems so mundane and insignificant and I just keep on feeling like there is so much more out there. And I can't wait. It's probably the scariest and most surreal feeling: knowing that, in a year or two, I will be alone, by myself, away (or so I hope. Unless I flunk out of high school, which would be fairly unfortunate and result in a rapid change of plans involving fast food chains). I want to cry tears of joy and fear and happiness while frolicking on a cloud of marshmallows and picking berries somewhere over the rainbow. With unicorns and dolphins.

Anyways, it's most important to keep perspective. The world is fucking beautiful. Sometimes I just need a reminder...





What's the last thing that made you smile?!
I'm turning into a life coach, but I'll just blame it on nostalgia and excitement. Hopefully the beauty of the videos will serve as a nice contrast to the posts that are to sandwich it (i.e. Halloween post up next, yo!)

and the witch jumped over the moon

I have a few favourite things, like raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens. And Halloween costume day.

Therefore, today was one of my favourite days. Yes, today was Halloween costume day. Yes, it's October 27th. Yes, Halloween is on October 31st. AREN'T YOU SMART?! YOU DON'T THINK I REALIZE THIS?! Sorry, there. Didn't mean to lose my boo-l, I mean, cool. (Get it? Boo? Like a ghost? Hah!)

I'll post pictures soon but, for now, here's some crappy photoshop photos to satisfy the thought that is obviously going through your mind: "Hey Lexy, [SINCE YOU'RE THE BEST PERSON EVER, I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU'RE DRESSED UP AS]." Post field hockey practice. I obviously try to look my best for practice...



Kidding, this wasn't for Halloween, I got hit by a field hockey ball and starting crying blood and choking up blood. Kidding, it was for Halloween. Hah! I most certainly TRICKED ya there! (Get it? Trick? Trick or treat? HILARIOUS.)

Entertain me with guesses regarding what/ who you think I went as?!
(Hint: I won "best homemade"... Cue the oooooh...)

breathe and just let go

Ah, see that beautiful sunshine? Yeah? It's not here anymore. In fact, if you want to imagine the weather, look at these pictures and then imagine the opposite. That's about a taste of the reality around here. Not that I'm bitter. Really, I'm not. The weather suits the "blah" of October and the "boo" of Halloween rather well. Which, come to think of it, I don't know what I'm going to dress up as yet. AH I'M STRESSIN'. (i.e. IDEAS?!)

I'm a senior in high school, so I think that that can be accounted for melo-dramatic muses with nostalgia as a running theme? Right? Okay, now that I've cleared the air, I can continue with my melo-dramatic muses with nostalgia as a running theme. (And I can always pull out the, "But I'm a senioooooorrrr"*!)

*Student, not citizen.


Currently, life is insanity. Do you know that feeling when you are "here," but you don't really feel "here"? I feel like my mind and my body and my heart are no longer coherent and I've pinched myself way too many times that I might be abusing my own self.

Yesterday we had our first HIGH SCHOOL DANCE OF THE YEAR. Oh my gawd, like, I know, like, yeah, like like like. Fun Fact: I was totally co-head of Social/ Dance Committee in grade 8. An obvious reasoning for my dancing attributes. Another Fun Fact: after helping to set up, I may or may not have spent a good portion of the hours leading up to the dance dancing on the dance floor. And I may or may not have been by myself. Hey! Something about strobe lights AND laser lights AND fog machines (triple whammy, baby!) that just peaks to my Thriller-esque dance skills. Envy? Duh.


It's actually really beautiful. The power of music, that is. Something about a common beat that gets people jumping in unison. It's really bizarre. How something so simple puts everyone on the same page, if only for a few minutes, bopping up and down to the same beat, breathing the same atmosphere, and hearing the same things. It's fabulous... My ears are literally still ringing from the loud music, perhaps accountable for my abstract musings of life.

And here is my last sewing project. "Last" may imply that it was recent, but rest assured that time still is not on my side and my last sewing project was, in fact, from WAY back in summer.


Pieces of the original origins of the outfits. (Say that sucker three times fast! Probably not that hard. But then again, it might be one of those "it's harder than it looks!" type of things so *insert mysterious ooooooh*)

I've been telling myself just to breathe and enjoy the moments. And I have been. Really. I know that my posts are becoming increasingly laced with a "dear diary" quality, but I guess that's just what's up in my life and you are all just precious enough creatures to share things with. Aw, shucks? I know!


(Jacket - Value Village $8, Yellow Shirt - Value Village $4, Skirt - Homemade, Tights - Hong Kong, Shoes - Value Village, Headband - Value Village)

I hope the sun's shining wherever you are. And the birds are chirping. And the clouds are sprinkling doses of sparkles and Kit Kats. And the baby sun is smiling at you (WOW, I NEVER REALIZED HOW CREEPY THAT THING IS). And you're smiling too.

I have two more weeks of field hockey season and then I'm done with sports teams, forever. (Because, let's face it, high school badminton is not a team. Or a sport, for that matter.) Kind of crazy that, one day, I'll be telling my children about these moments; "You know, when I was in high school, I used to play field hockey really intensely! Can you believe that?! Probably not because I'm obese as I eat too much and never work out because I hated all that jazz..."

What's up with you guys? How would you describe your current feelings? What are you being for Halloween?
P.S. I'd love if you guys sent me an email (lexyht@hotmail.com). Just because times can get lonesome. (But never in cyberland! This a THREAT. For you to, um, email me.)

fckh8

1) IFCKNLOVETHIS. These 2 minutes and 19 seconds make me so happy. And they should make you happy too. YAY.

Kind of crazy. I saw this video (same video, different uploader, need to sign in to view, semi-time consuming) about two days after it was first uploaded and it had 12 000 views. Now it's at more than 1.5 million?! Ah, incredible. Spread the love, people!

2) Stumbled on this event on Facebook, and I think it's fantastic. R.I.P. ;; In memory of the recent suicides due to gay abuse, wear purple. Approximately everyone is doing it, so YOU SHOULD TOO. (Not that I'm encouraging peer pressure. I mean, no body is doing it so -- yeah, never mind.) Sadly, I'll be clad in my uniform that day, but maybe I can sneak some bright purple tights to spruce up my gray kilt? Okay, maybe not... In seriousness, I think that all the recent suicides is really tragic. The idea of rejecting different sexual orientations seems so archaic. It's also ridiculous that humans - particularly obnoxious, immature and egotistical high school males (not that I'm irritated or bitter...pfft...) - use terms such as "gay" and "fag" to describe their peers. Do you not know any more adjectives? Are you too incompetent to come up with something better? Or are you just plain ignorant? Yes, I'm trying to guilt trip you.

In conclusion,
DON'T HATE.

(appreciate!)

puff the magic dragon

Here is the moment you have all been waiting for! The unicorn post! Oh shucks! Did I just say unicorn?! Now your expectations are far too high! I mean, I am a unicorn! Just... just... just read between the lines, er, pictures! Er... *Nervous chuckle as reader continues to peruse through post, a frown gradually forming on reader's face as unicorn is not present* (This could get awkward.)

I specifically remember nothing significant happening on this day. Except for maybe the fact that I wore leopard tights and polka dots. Hey now, I was stopped by the imaginary fashion police (4:45 mark)! I committed a crime! I'm a rebel! My life is significant! Hollaaaa boiz. Hollaaaa baby Spears. (Don't get the reference?! Pfft, you're so not "all that.") (Hah! I'm funny!) (Yeah. Check out the video.)



In lieu of leopard-related shinanegans, I painted my nails with the letters "RAWR" because 1) I'm that cool and 2) I have that much time. Oh how I wish both of these phrases were true. The truth of the matter is 1) I'm NOT that cool and 2) I DON'T have much time (gotta love them contractions!). The truth of the real matter is that my school had a house competition type of thing (think Harry Potter) (I don't even like/read/know Harry Potter) (but pop-culture references give me "mainstream" appeal, so everyone's a winner!). It was jungle themed. I'm yellow team. We won. Probably because my nails said "RAWR" on them.


I tend to get all dressed up with no where to go. It's the story of my life, and I don't hate it. It's better than not being dressed up and having no where to go. Because if you have no where to go, you might as well get all dressed up! Because that makes sense! That was not intended to sound sarcastic! Rather, it is the truth! BAM.


And I must say that the whole "Autumn thing" is suiting my fancy. Mostly because it suits my tights' fancy. We're basically the same thing (me and my tights). It's okay, it's alright. I cleared the air, the rumors are faced. STOP FRETTING KIDS.

(Jacket - Value Village $8, Dress - Salvation Army $14, Necklace - CNE $10, Belt - Thrifted $1, Shoes - Value Village $8, Tights - Pacific Mall)

Right now life is feeling a little surreal. Not necessarily a bad thing, but more like I'm in a constant dream, knowing that my memories will all blur together in the near future. I sound like a headless doll chanting these poetically dark thoughts. Which doesn't make sense. But anyways...

I like ending my posts with a question because it becomes an open discussion. I picture us sitting in a circle by a camp fire, drumming on a guitar, singing Kumbaya whilst exchanging warm fuzzies and fuzzy mittens and mittened... yeah... that's all...
When was the last time you had to pinch yourself to make sure that this was "real life"?
(Or am I the only one that actually does this? PLEASE SAY NO.)

la la

Question: when do you know when you are overly conceited/ have to much time on your hands/ ARE SUPER AWESOME?! When you draw yourself in your outfit as a unicorn, of course! I'd like to think that the latter of these options (um, being super AWESOME) best represents my concoction...

Actual outfit to come shortly! Please don't expect me to have sprouted magistic fur or a sparkling corn. If you're immediate response was, "But, Lexy, you are a unicorn", then that's pretty fantastic and I think we're officially BUFFz (Best Unicorn Friends Forever.) Also, shout out to April for the idea of drawing yourself (or, you know, a version of yourself) in an outfit. AWYEAHIMAUNICORN. I get high on life! Or drawing myself as a unicorn! (Same difference.)

What would be in your LaLaLand? Mine would be filled with unicorns (obvz), cotton candy clouds, and colourful outfits. It would also be inundated with big smiles, genuine conversations, excessive creativity, and the hippy values of peace and love. Hatred, judgements, and violence are strictly prohibited. Rated E for Everyone!

P.S. Thanks for all the super nice comments on the last post! I know I used to end every post with these words and it hasn't changed; I really DO appreciate all the mcluvin'. 350+ followers! I officially invite you all to my lalaland to bathe in chocolate tea and slide down rainbows... Infinite bear hugs and smooches!

we are the world

Here's what a wore to "We Day." For you non-Canadian/non-Ontarian/non-teenagerian/non-tree-huggerian students (basically the majority of you all), it's basically a giant inspirational concert run by Free the Children. I went last year as well and Justin Bieber AND the Jonas Brothers were there! Like, OMG, I knowzzz! So I think that says a lot about how it's, like, so, like KEWL. No, I'm totally kidding (about the sarcasm part). It's a really fantastic event that's actually very fun and inspiring, albeit the crowds of screaming children.

The muted tones are reminiscent of my "go neutral or go home!" days via the eighth grade. (True story: I used to only by shades of brown as they "always went together" and I swore that, because of this, I would be able to wear them FOREVER.)



(Blazer - Value Village $7, Denim Shirt - Mum, Pants - Value Village $4, Hat - Value Village $3, Shoes - Vintage $34, Socks - AEO)

This, coupled with basically everything that's going through my mental life right now, is sort of tearing my heart apart a little. I'll have you all know that there are two things in the world that I genuinely LOVE; the things that make that spot beyond my heart hurt; the things that make me want to cry a little thinking about it; the things that make me happy, just plain and simple, happy. Those two things are: fashion and saving the world.

Yeah. I know. How do I manage to love two things that are on the opposite sides of the spectrum?! Fashion (stereotypically) reads glamorous, frivolity, arrogance. Saving the world reads, well, the opposite.

Whuuuuut?!

All my life, I've been dreaming fashion. The world of creation is the world that I know; that I love; that I need. I can't imagine NOT creating. NOT pursuing my life long dream. But I know that - despite how much I absolutely believe in and adore and love the world of fashion - the back of my mind will question, Fashion?! Sometimes I'm embarrassed about my dream. I believe in it. Not everyone does. And sometimes I think, "Well, hey, I have a hell of a lot of other interests. What am I doing in fashion?!"

But I know that if I DON'T at least give it a try, I WILL regret it forever. I know that.

The other side of the spectrum is Saving the World. I love to travel. I love cultures. I love helping. I love it. I think about this whole other world beyond the Western Hemisphere - one that I barely know; one that I've read about it magazines. I've been in these worlds - but not enough. A few weeks is NOTHING compared to a full lifetime. I want to change it. I want to save it. I want to help people. It's a rewarding feeling. It makes me happy. I think about the children's faces; they need so little to be so happy. I want to help them be happy. If my dreams can come true, why can't theirs? They deserve to have their dreams come true.

"Follow your heart" is probably the most cliched and valid response to this. But what if my heart is in two places?

My heart tears a little bit when I think about the future. Yet, I know that I'm extremely LUCKY to be in this conflicted position. Some people don't know what they're passionate about and I'm lucky to have two things that I absolutely, positively love. And, even more so, I'm lucky to have the opportunity to channel my love and follow my dreams.

"They say I'm a dreamer, but I'm not the only one."


Sorry, I sense that my posts are getting more "let's all share our feelings and bake a cake with rainbow and smiles and every one would it eat and just be happy." Sorry. I just have a lot of feelings...

Go home, Lexy. Go home.

Share with me anything that relates to anything. Anything. Personal conflicts, hyenas, Disney, dreams... ARE YOU A DREAMER? Elaborate. Essay question. 20 awesome points. Go.

1.0 i'm a barbie girl, in a barbie world

This is the first of a series. "What kind of series?" you may ask. Well. I will look at you straight in the eyes. I will not blush or shrug my shoulders. I will not mumble a response. Rather, my shoulders will be back, my head will be high, my voice will exude confidence. "Barbie clothes I sewed over the summer. That is the series."

It will also be known as "The series that proves that I do not have a life." Either of the quotations rings true. I have an excuse! I have five-year-old girl cousin. I think you guys have enough imagination to fill in the blanks. See! Five year old! Girl! Cousin! Barbies! Sewing! Sewing barbie clothes for cousin girl five year old! GET WITH IT GUYS.

Outfit One: I think that the fact that I have a five year old girl cousin is enough of an explanation for a pink tutu with a big bow. So I'm going to leave it at that: five year old girl cousin.




Outfit 2: This Barbie is going for a powerful-chic-business-women-meets-Posh-Spice-inspired-look. Damn. Look at me talking about my Barbie clothes like they're real people. I mean, psh. Barbies ARE real people! In my imagination! Hahhhh!




I miss Barbie-land quite a little bit. There's something very refreshing about seeing children playing with their dolls, as opposed to engrossed in the world of the internet and media. People sometimes argue that Barbie's a bad example for children with her "perfect proportions" and blah blah blah. And while the lack of Azn ^_^ Barbies in the Value Village bags did make me long for some reppin', ultimately, I say "Let the kid play with the Barbie!" Better than other things they can be doing.

(Barbie is wearing clothes sewn by me.)

While I'm slightly nostalgic for Barbie, what I've REALLY been longing for as of late is ZOOM. Do you remember ZOOM? I always thought that Kenny sounded like "Silly." Which was really historical. Of course, his name wasn't Silly. It was Kenny. Isn't that all just so silly?! (I miss the days where things were described as simply being "silly.")

And I wanted to be Caroline. OH SO VERY BADLY.