Hello bluebirds and sunshine teapots! Oh, look at me! I'm being so jolly and dandy! And oh! I wonder why this is! Am I in looooove? NO. Am I prancing outdoors? NO. Gosh, I guess it's merely because it's a BEAUTIFUL DAY TODAY. Yippee! The weather has been utterly glorious and I feeling like being in love and prancing outdoors and calling human beings "bluebirds" and "sunshine teapots" but, you know, I am doing none of that. Instead, I get the fantastical privileged of being indoors, all day, getting my werrrk' on. In the mall. All day. Hooray? Whatever, the weather is pretty and I'll just act all cheery and obnoxious and yeahhh because nobody likes a gloomy cloud to pounce on their sunny parade.
In other news, adventuring and exploring Toronto is working out nicely. I have discovered that my fan-base lie in are-they-homeless-esque-old-bearded-men. Seriously. In the past month, I have had half-a-dozen conversations with this demographic. It's okay. Despite the initial doubt and subtle inching away, they turn out to be interesting and harmless creatures. (You know, until the end, when they give me their number with the prospect of showing me the "good bars around town" or kiss my hand when I am saying goodbye but, you know, pffft.)
I've also attended my first POETRY SLAM because I am so ~poetic~ and ~artsy~ and yeah, just wanted to check it out. It ended up being lots of fun; the atmosphere and vibe is very honest and passionate and beautiful and connected and all that good stuff. Therefore, I'm totally sold. While I wish I could become all ~wow, I am a poet and I didn't even know it~, the reality is, you know, ~I'm not a poet and I did even know it~. I really admire all the poets out there. SLAM. (See what I did there? That added ambiance is a play on SLAM Poetry? Damn, maybe I do have a talented way with words! Check itttt!) I've also made this, ahem ~profound~ connection that some people use poetry and words to express themselves while I use clothing to express myself. Look at us! We're all just human beings trying to find ways to be honest and expressive and connected and things.
Oh, by the way, we interrupt this program briefly to introduce you to the BEST SHOES EVER. They make my feet happy. I've taken to wearing them to all the grand events I'm so often invited to (read: dance parties... with myself... alone... in front of my... mirror. JEALOUS?!).
In other not-as-grand news, lately, I've been feeling a little uncomfortable and guilty for loving fashion. Sometimes, it feels as though I am living in a perpetual paradox where loving fashion and aspiring to be part of the industry and dreaming fashion dreams converge with hating fashion and recognizing its frivolity and insignificance and questioning how involved I should really be with it. It's hard to articulate because, obviously, I love it. I have aspired to be apart of the creative/ fashion industry since I was a wee little one. It makes me cry, it makes my heart pound, it makes me dream. On the other hand, it makes me want to hurt things. We attach words like "art" to it and strive to search for meaning in it and put it on a high pedestal but... is it really all that?
I guess I find myself very uncomfortable when people ask me what I want to do. I feel like I'm searching for justification for my passion. I feel like there are other things I could lend my heart and time and talent to. Who knows what the future holds? I guess I just want to die knowing I made the world a better place than it was before I left it. I know that creating things makes the world lighter and more beautiful and full of dreams... but I can't help thinking about the kids around the world that would give anything for a basic education and basic health and the basic needs we fucking take for granted. Maybe I should lend my heart and time to that instead. Until they have the opportunity to dream and create and enjoy the lighter side of life to. My heart seems to stretch out a lot... #confusedteenager
Do you ever feel guilty for loving fashion? How do you deal with those feelings? (I know it's not good to assume but, yeah, I am totally assuming you kids are all fashion lovahhhz az diz is a fashion blawggg, ya dig?)
(Shirt - Value Village $3, Shorts - Vintage/ Iceland, Socks - H&M $2, Shoes - Consignment Shop $12, Lipstick - Revlon 038)
xoxoox, have a beautiful week, darlings.