nibs are yummy

Dearest friends of the world wide web,

In conclusion, I suck. Now that we've moved passed that awkward confrontation of holy-moly-its-the-freaking-last-day-of-the-month-and-i-haven't-posted-in-weeks, we can move on to more productive things. Like clothing attire. OMG EXCITEMENT ENSUES AS IT'S LIKE NOTHING'S EVER CHANGED YEEEHAWWWW GOODTIMEZ.

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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

Evidently, these photos were taken awhile back, as made clear by things like LEAVES. I actually had a mini-heart-attack this morning when I realized it was the end of the month ALREADY. Time is a flyin', we are a livin', things are a happenin', what am i a sayin'?! And speaking of the end of the month and general redundancy, aw shucks, I have to drop another $99 on a December Metropass. (Fun fact: I make my Grandma buy my Metropass because she has a handy advantage called "senior discount." There is a student discount, but I'm not in school/ a student right now. Consequently, I'm BRINGIN' OUT THE GRANDMA. Using a senior discount when I'm not a senior? Going against the system? YOU KNOW IT BRAH. Because I live on the EDGE like that. Because I'm a REBEL like that. Because YOU BETTER WATCH OUT. (You better not cry! You better not pout, I'm telling you why! Lalal. I don't care what people say, I freaking LOVE Christmas music.))
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Image and video hosting by TinyPic

As I posted this, I remembered that a lovely woman photographed me in this outfit and BAM! I came across it. I don't know how I just remembered that I was photographed, because I'm fairly certain that it blasted my smile and my ego about 718 degrees higher that day. But then again, you know, I'm used to it. I'm like a celebrity. BOW TO ME BITCHEZ. (I kid you, I kid you! I will use my celebrity powers (i.e. being on, like, three blogs and a twitter) to merely date Joseph Gordon Levitt and adopt babies with trendy names.)
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(Jumpsuit - Vintage $5, Blazer - Value Village $4, Denim Shirt - Mum's from the 90s, Bracelets - H&M, Shoes - Vintage $34, Headband - Value Village $3)

On a completely different note, I've recently been having a bit of money struggles. Not in the sense of lack of money - but in the contrary. I know it's ~tacky~ to talk about money, but I'm a ~tacky~ one, so I'm just going with what I got! Frankly, I'm a lucky girl. It's not like my family is farting dollar bills or throwing change in garbage cans (Daniel Meade, that means you! Ugly Betty reference that no one will get because that show ended, like, 6 years ago. Yup, I'm still obsessed). But, yes, I have been incredibly lucky growing up. My family isn't, like, ~loaded~, but I have been really fortunate to have really incredible opportunities - such as an amazing education and travel experience - that I know a lot of people don't have. And sometimes I feel guilty.

I'm working with people that are paying for their own rent, their own university tuition. While I'm obviously not going to be financially dependent on my parents for my entire existence, I know that they would be willing to help me out to ensure that I get the education or the opportunities I need for personal growth. And sometimes I feel guilty. My parents work hard. They both came from low class families and worked hard and continue to work hard to provide for me and my sister. But it's like, What did we do to deserve this? Why are people my age fighting for things like education or a home? Things that I've generally taken for granted? Why do I get this lifestyle? And sometimes I feel guilty.

I find myself trying to compensate for my fortunate upbringing by trying to help others. I try to volunteer or feed the homeless or do anything that I can do because I can do it. I can definitely attest to my parents for ingraining the value of money and the importance of helping others in my mind. But still. I work hard, and I will always work hard, but I also know that my parents are able to support my dreams - education, traveling - financially, which is a definite luxury and I feel incredibly lucky but also incredibly torn. Because WHY? Why do I deserve this?! Why do I get this luxury? And I know that I'm a good person and I'm not a spoiled brat and I don't take my things for granted, but I also know that I have and I've had a lot of things and opportunities and experiences that people my age simply don't have because $dollaz$ don't grow on trees.

I've always been aware of the discrepancy between our Western lifestyle and one in a developing country, but I'm also becoming more aware of the discrepancy between my own upbringing and that of many other youth. It's just this bizarre battle between gratitude and guilt, intertwined with questions of why?

That's all.

PHEW. This actually took a lot of time to write because my mind has been rumbling and mumbling and broiling and battling and I know that it's an uncomfortable or sensitive or controversial topic. I didn't know whether to post this. But guess what I did? Yeah, I posted it. Obviously. You are reading this. Duh!

THOUGHTS? What kind of financial upbringing did you have? How has it affected you?

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Ahem, so until next time! (Let's be frank, WHO KNOWS WHEN THAT WILL BE?!) I hope you all have a really splendid day/ week/ life in the meantime! Hugs and kisses!


キャセデイ said...

Gosh you are too cute! And woot for getting a street snap! That's so cool~

On the money thing- I don't think you should feel guilty or whatever for the money your parents worked hard to make and for the lifestyle and opportunities their hard work has provided for you. As long as you work hard too and if you do such selfless things like volunteering, then there is no reason to be ashamed. Unfortunately, in the human nature/world/whatever, some are just more fortunate than others and it's nothing to be ashamed of, okay? You just do you and help others along the way!


Lyosha said...

I had the same thoughts about flying time! it happens to me all the time.
as for outfit: Love the bright but soft colours of the outfit and the shoes had stolen my heart.

Inside and Outside Blog

Sarah said...

I have been incredibly fortunate throughout my life, too. It makes it difficult to relate when people are talking about not making rent and I would be completely fine in the same situation--this is partially by dint of my own hard work and partially because I know my own family would help me out if need be.

I try not to feel guilty because it isn't like I am skipping around flashing my privilege in people's faces. And I spend FAR less than a lot of people I know, even the ones that don't supposedly have money. There will always be people whose situation I envy and people who envy my own. As long as I live respectfully, within my means, and do what I can to help other people, I feel that I have no reason to feel bad.

weasel said...

Great photos, and color of this jacket is amazing!

Stephi Dee said...

You definitely shouldn't fell guilty girl! If you were blessed just thank your lucky stars and keep on helping others! It's really admirable that your parents were able to instill these kinds of values in you, because I'm a strong believer that with money comes more responsibility to be a good person. There will definitely be people in your life who look down on you for being lucky, but don't ever let them make you feel bad.

At the beginning of my life my family was definitely fairly well off, high-middle class. We weren't rich but we could afford a few nice 2-week vacations a year, to go to a nice restaurant weekly and my father would always take us to see plays and ballets.

Then my parents got divorced and we were totally broke because my mom only earns around $25,000 a year and had me and my brother to support. It was definitely a big change but my mother brought us up to be very humble and thankful and to be hard workers. I started my first job at age 14 and have had to work to get a car, for education money and for my apartment. But I wouldn't trade it for the world because I think I might have turned out to be a spoiled brat otherwise lol.

Great post though, I think that people shy away from talking about money way too much sometimes!

Stephi Dee

Anonymous said...

Who are you? Just kidding. Nice to see you posting and such. I adore that jumpsuit! You outfits always make me happy!
I think it's best to just be thankful. I often feel bad, too. I'm taking a course in school called World Issues and it's really opened my eyes.
I guess I'd be considered middle class. My parents divorced when I was 10 and I've mostly been living with my mom, who tends to struggle with money. My father on the other hand, doesn't. I've always been fortunate and I'm very thankful for the things I have.

pixelhazard said...

I went from having everything i wanted and more, to having nothing I wanted and now I'm in the delicious in between. Make you appreciate everything more and opens your eyes to more possibilities

Bright Green Laces

Kailey said...

GUH, you continue to amaze and delight me with your looks Lexy - SO MANY PRETTY COLORS ;__;

Meanwhile, I'm very sorry you have hit upon money troubles, and I have to say, I am still in love with Ugly Betty too xo

Meg said...

Love your pink pants, yo!

But in all seriousness, you're really lucky. Your parents worked hard to be able to give you an awesome life, and it sounds to me like you're owning it. You're not taking it for granted and your heart is reaching out to those less fortunate. I'm not sure that you need to worry about the "whys".

As for me, I come from a family that was living comfortably for a few years, but my family lived beyond our means and then when Dad lost his job, we began to struggle. Student loans (the max they're allowed to give) are what enabled me to go to school, and now that debt hangs over my head. I have always wanted to travel, and I've never been anywhere but Canada and the US. I'm a little jealous of people who have well-to-do families and get to travel and don't have to worry about paying rent, but I have to make the best of what life has given me. I try to be frugal and save money, so that I can get rid of my debts and (finally) see the world.

Hvit said...

I can't feel serious at the moment, so I will try to comment about money later when I feel I can.

Right now I just want to yell about your outfit- JUMPSUIT! JACKET! THOSE SHOES! EEEH! I just love the lines of it and the shapes, and the contrast of the blue to the warm colours. Eeeeeeh. <3

Melissa said...

AHH LEXI YOU MAKE ME SMILE :D!! I love your jacket, the colour is IMMENSE.

I definately don't think you should feel guilty about being more fortunate than others, clearly you're not someone who takes things for granted and your parents working hard has influenced you to do the same, and volunteering and helping others is a really selfless thing to do :)


aki! said...

You know, I didn't really think of that. But I've never been in need. And I think it has a lot to do with family values. Some families value working for money and others value education and then working for money.

Got me thinking, for sure.

BUT! For your awesome style, your writing and you in general, I passed on the Kreativ Blogger award. To you.

Marie McGrath (The Joy of Fashion) said...

No worries on not posting for a while, we will always be here waiting for you!! Great outfit, as always I'm loving all your bright colors. These pics with the leaves are so pretty too!


fransmiles said...

Love the outfit :) orange and blue is such an amazing colour combination but really easy to forget to try, your photos are a perfect example of why it works though!

As for questioning why you deserve what you have, the fact that you're even doing that shows that you deserve to have that financial support because you're aware of its significance enough to put it to good use (if that makes sense?). I know a lot of people who come from 'well-off' homes but work extremely hard anyway, but I also know a lot of people who take their parents' money for granted and never question why they're better off than others - who in fact, often ask why they haven't been given even more. I think depending on how hard your parents had to work to gain their money, the more they impress upon you how vital it is that you appreciate it and then do the same (at least that's what my parents have always done for me!)

Izumihiiiflower said...

thank you so muuuch <3
I miss summer too, but this year that's strange, we have flowers in december!!

Rimi said...

zomg! you look so fresh-faced and beautiful!

i've had a nice upbringing (ie. private school education, never heard my parents talk of money problems, etc.), but I don't feel bad for it at all. my dad was the first person in his family to go to college, and grew up in a low-income household. but, he decided to work his but off, and has been doing so for the past 30-some-odd years so that my mom, my sister and i can live comfortably and without worry.

so, nope! i don't feel guilty. just incredibly blessed and loved :)

p.s. i totally got that ugly betty reference...that should still be on air!!!! *rage!*

Rimi <3

Flow Disruption said...

First - You look awesome! I'm feelin' the pink jumpsuit envy.

Second - I wouldn't feel guilty. The bottom line is that no one gets to choose what they're born into and given. I think most would accept help (financial or other) if given the opportunity, so there's nothing to be ashamed of. Like you said, it just gives you the opportunity to help in ways others can't and that's pretty awesome! :)

miamanson said...

thank you for the comment sweet heart ;)
can you give me a solution how to see your picture? for some reason every photo in your blog I can't see, but photos on other blogs i can see huhuhu :|

miamanson said...

thank you for the comment sweet heart ;)
can you give me a solution how to see your picture? for some reason every photo in your blog I can't see, but photos on other blogs i can see huhuhu :|

Hazelnut said...

You are so cute, as always! Love the way the colors of your outfit match with the falling leaves. :)

JustPatience said...

Gorgeous look. Love the color mixing and your headband is so cute.


white witch Hi_D said...

You're a celebrity? May I take your autograph then? Ha!
I like the way you blog and just blurt things out... It's fun to read...
And about my financial upbringing?
Let's just say that by the looks of your photos, you still had a better childhood than me...



Marisa Noelle said...

My upbringing sounds very similar to yours and I definitely feel very blessed for that...even today my parents still help out with way too much and it makes me feel guilty at times...but that's what they love doing and that's what their parents did for them and so on. They would tell you that it's part of being from a big Italian family:)

On a lighter note...you look adorbs as always!! How is it you make casual look like the most stylish thing ever?! I need to get better at this. And no worries, I have felt like the biggest blog slacker lately...moving and only bootlegged internet (until the cable guy comes) which is very slow and sketchy has me way behind in the blogworld too. Have a sweet weekend Lexy!!

Audrey Allure said...

Such a cute outfit, and such fun photos!

miamanson said...

hahaha by the way i mark you as cheerful and colorful girl, right? ;)

Eline said...

AAAHHH these colours! SO AMAZING.
And that big bow <3 how did you tie that around your head? I suck at tying bows (shameful, I know!) and that seems like a pretty much impossible task to me :(

I don't think you should feel guilty for a privileged upbringing at all. This is very different from your situation, but this video made me think of your issue http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=V8eUkp0Ak4U
Haha, I just wanted to share because it's funny (and awesome) ^_^. But seriously, take those feelings of guilt and turn it into something positive :D

As a child my family was very rich, then we became poor and now we're comfortably middle class but still have to watch out for money, of course (bad economy). Luckily, over here education is a lot cheaper compared to so many countries but my parents are paying for my studio, some of my food and art supplies which is definitely not a minor thing to give. I am very thankful for it, especially when I see friends struggling in school without financial support of their parents. There is really hardly any time or possibility here to work (part-time or more or even slightly less) and going to school.

Just treat your friends on food/some wine/cheese/candy whatever they love when you can spare the money yourself :D

I don't know, if you can be understanding about how difficult not having money can be, then you're doing pretty good imho. SO MANY people who have money don't seem to understand or even worse, ostentatiously don't want to understand what an issue not having money can be. Those people are the jerks, not you.

Bonnie said...

I love the pictures of you smiling and laughing. This is how I imagine you to be all the time. I so wish that we could be BFFs in person. It would be INSANE BALLS.

Twitter: @GlamKitten88

Chanel Tonè said...

Jealous! Miss seeing the change of colors in the leaves. If I could see that again I would be just like you in those photos . . . having so much fun! And you too have a good day/week/life in the meantime ;)


FashionJazz said...

Love your jeans babe and the pics of you smiling :) xx

Oh to Be a Muse said...

i think it's great that you are aware of the struggles of others even if you don't have those struggles yourself. volunteering is a great way to help that.

and marrying JGL...well, that you would be the icing on the cake, wouldn't it? Love your bow!

Style Porn said...

Well, I call the phenomenon you're describing, 'The White Guilt' but I guess that doesn't make as much sense in your case. ANYHOO, if there's one thing I've learned in my 28-almost-29 years on this earth, it's that life really, truly isn't fair. Also, all minds are not created equal. And the road to adulthood is paved with small realizations that, taken collectively, make you realize you are not that exceptional. It's tough, man. There's absolutely no rhyme or reason to it. So I'd say you're handling it as well as anyone could.

Eli said...

I dont think you should ever feel ashamed about what you have, just make sure you dont make anyone else feel ashamed for what they dont have.

jess said...

I love your orange blazer.

*Glam Chameleon* said...

I will say only one thing- the fall looks beautiful when u're on the pictures!:)) My sweet and radiant girl!:)) kisses
Jelena (glamfabchameleon.blogspot.com)

Anisa Young said...

ORANGE YOU GLAD YOU'RE BACK? Okay, I'm le awk. I've missed your awesome presence on the blogosphere! WHY CANT I PULL OFF SUCH BRIGHT COLORS? WHY? xxAnisa

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